3/10/13

Being the Hamster, Being at Peace with the Wheel.

There is this little piece of me that feels like sometimes, writing is like being the hamster on the wheel. I can be almost done something, it's agonizingly hard to finish and every part of me is saying "give it up already!"

And then that's when my muse, a fickle one, sends me a brand new idea. I've got to write it down, Just. Then. Because if I don't write it down right now I'll forget it.

Why would I do that? Let a perfectly good story idea go by? No way!

But my writing life is this endless cycle of projects book-ended by other projects and each one is *almost* done.

Like right now. Citizen Vamp. I've been working on it since before my daughter was born... my daughter will be 3 in May. It's *almost* done, and I know I could finish it in less than two months... problem?

Yes. Two. Husband and Daughter.

1) I have two people who, have very needy (read: not clingy, just needy) needs and who want those needs. Right. Now.
2) Oh, by the way, you can't write today because today is the day I turn the hockey game on so loud you can't hear your music even with headphones on. Or, our daughter is fairly certain she wants to sit on my lap. "Now, mommy-now!"

Sigh.

Well, here's the one thing I do know for certain. I love them both-but I need to write.

It's essential to my health and sanity and I need it to release. If I don't have that then I end up withdrawn, crabby and no good to anyone.

I'm tempted to rent a studio but they are just not affordable currently with my tight, launching-a-new-business budget. So what's a gal to do?

I got in the car, called up my closest fellow writer friend. I went to her place, had coffee and we just caught up with one another... and neither of us asked the other about our writing. Neither of us said, "So, finish that book you've been working on?" Neither of us felt like venting about the lack of our ability to meet our writing goals because we both have children. Nope.

Tonight we chatted and let life just be the topic of conversation. We just got to be non-writers for a little while, drink coffee and smell it-rather than inhale it on deadline.

Sigh.

Now I need to get to bed because tomorrow is a full day of trying to write with a toddler crawling all over me like an ant.

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